Man or Myth

We have the amazing BERNT ROCKENSTIEN IN DA HOUSE RIGHT NOW WITH US. I am your host Bill Ruskin. Now let me fill you in about the rockenstien before you must read my interview. Bernt is a man's man like no other man. He has this vision that not even a girl that likes ice cream would have. His mind and spirit are with him each day and any other day. His rules are like nobody's rules. He makes his own. Bernt is a 65% Rocker 25%human and 100% Rockenen. So now let me begin with my interview mr Rockenstien. BILL/ BR (ROCKENSTIEN)

BILL: hello mr rockenstien how have you been.

BR: Pretty good bill I forgot to put butter on my toast today but hey that's ok

Bill: Thats terrible to hear Bernt it sounds like you did not get a good breakfast today.

BR: Well bill its like this Breakfast to me is the least important meal of the day. I could care less about breakfast. I really look forward to snacking and dinner more than anything. Pretty much I look forward to that more than my unicorn.

Bill: Bernt is it true that you are impotent?

BR: No comment on that one bill. That is private stuff I have no idea why you are asking me that question BILL.

Bill: Alright bernt sorry about that lets move on. So tell me what has the Rockenstien been up to these days?

BR: Well after my famous web site has been because of my 2 favorite guys. (James, Brad) I have been getting lots of offers these days.

BIll: What kind of offers do people ask of you bernt?

BR: Well you know the usual like could you be a cook at my work. Or hey could you fix my Television n, Or hey man we could really hang out sometime. You know that kind of stuff. Its been really hectic these past few days especially for the holidays coming.

Bill: Bernt what are your plans for the holidays?

BR: Well kurt that is a...

Bill: Bernt my name is BILL.

BR: Exactly what I said kurt well things have been (Bill Shrugs shoulders) really busy I volunteered to be santa claus for the Dominick's down the street from my house. I gave up ROCK N ROLL for the sake of humanity.

Bill: WHAT YOU ARE THE ROCKENSTIEN YOU CANNOT GIVE UP ROCK N ROLL.

BR: Well kurt there is a point in every stiens life that you just have to move forward. I have been lying to myself this whole time you know "Hey when do I want to rock or hey how many people should I rock for or hey when should I play with myself." It's just one of those things you know you where you just must move on.

Bill: Bernt don't you realize that the older rockers are the more respect they get from doing that for so long. Look at bands like sum 41 those guys have been around for awhile probably longer than that toaster you have. Those guys are just filled with tons of respect from the audience and there parents.

BR: Well bill you see here that I don't care about this stuff anymore.

BILL: Why not Rockenstien wait if you don't rock anymore than what will your new nick name BE?

BR: Well kurt I have been doing a lot of thinking about my nickname. I do realize that probably till the day I die i will be Rockenstien to some people. But what really matters is what I see in me. You know like puff daddy changing his name to p. diddy. People still love him and buy his stuff. So with my new name I am gonna be Bernt Rockport the second.

Bill: Bernt you do realize that this is a complete disaster why on earth are you gonna go threw with this Besides ROCKPORT. That name is just terrible why not call yourself BERNT GAYSTIEN you know that sounds a lil bit more respectable than FUCKING ROCKPORT. BERNT You do realize that its now time for me to finish up this interview and I must say I have lost faith in you. To me and to everyone one else that follows the rockenstien will be disappointed.

BR: KURT WHERE YOU GOIN DON'T LEAVE I HAVE MORE STUFF TO SAY.

BILL: Bernt I am sorry or I should say MR. ROCKPORT. I am out of here LATA ODIOUS AMIGO. Oh wait I should leave AMIGO OUT OF IT. Just put ODIOUS.

END OF INTERVIEW.